When excited, unable to spit out ivory
I remember it was a rainy evening. I was hitchhiking home with a friend. As the car was turning left and sliding through the intersection, a reckless car made a sharp turn from the lane opposite the safety island and tried to squeeze into our lane. .
This is of course a serious traffic violation. The most dangerous thing is that he turned so fast. If our friend hadn’t braked suddenly, he would have hit us.
My friends are very. I don’t know why, but when driving, no matter how good-tempered a person is, he is likely to curse “”. My friend probably wanted to do the same, but because there was a lady (me) sitting next to him, he just quickly pressed down the window and stared at the daredevil to see what he wanted.
The man knew he was in the wrong and apologized immediately, but after saying “I’m sorry” twice, which sounded like a curse, he immediately added: “I said I’m sorry, I’ve already said it!”
It’s okay if I don’t say this, but when I heard it, my friend became even more angry. He blocked the car in front of the man and got out of the car.
The man didn’t dare to get out of the car. Sitting in front of the driver’s seat, he seemed to be roaring loudly: “I’ve already said I’m sorry, what else do you want?”
This is the most ineffective apology method I have ever seen. Every “I’m sorry” sounds like a fist.
In your daily life, you must have often witnessed or heard similar incidents of “say less and make fewer mistakes, say more and make more mistakes”.
A simple apology sent with a good attitude can often turn a big problem into a small one. But if you say anything in a defensive manner when you are emotionally aroused, you will often add fuel to the fire. You will obviously try to put out the fire, but you will throw the fuel away as water.
When a boyfriend and girlfriend quarrel, one of them refuses to let go for the time being, but the other wants to settle the matter quickly. Both of them are excited and want to explain the truth clearly, but it often turns into a big quarrel, or they end up with “I even said I’m sorry.” , what do you want?” and ended up unhappy.
When we are emotionally excited, we are very defensive and aggressive. We often become an unstoppable “RoboCop” and do everything possible to protect ourselves. This is not the time for communication; the person being accused especially needs to be calm and take a broad-minded view. A little further, first evaluate: Is it better to argue for yourself at this time, or is it better to be open-minded and wait for advice? This is related to your crisis management ability.
A humble bow is often better than an overwhelming response. Maybe the other person wrongly blamed you. After that person’s mood stabilizes, I believe he will realize that he was wrong and admire your “tolerance is magnanimous”.
I have also heard of an example of someone who got into great trouble because he was too defensive and was just eager to let go.
A customer cut his mouth after eating broken glass while eating dessert in a large restaurant. When the guest was furious, the waiter got excited with the guest and insisted: “We didn’t make this dessert. It was brought in from outside. There’s nothing we can do. If you want to scold me, I’ll give you their phone number and you go ahead.” Just scold them!” The two quarreled on the spot.
The matter later became a big deal and went to court. The hotel paid a large sum of money. Naturally, the fate of the waiter would not be too good either.
Every time I heard strangers quarreling loudly (a car collided on the road, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law next door had a quarrel), I would always listen from a distance, and I never found anyone saying a truly reasonable word. If everyone is louder, what good results can come from the noise? Winning in an argument means losing, so why waste your efforts?
Comment: If you can’t help but quarrel, it shows that the person’s endurance is really poor. His spirit is often tense and he is always afraid of being hurt. Such a life is called suffering.
If someone else’s words don’t sound good to you, it at least means that they have their own reasons, and you don’t understand their reasons.